


30 Minutes or Less

by Ilovesocks_24



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Delivery Boy!Stiles, Handyman!Derek, M/M, Pizza Delivery!AU, Sausage Pizza, That's a metaphor, You better believe it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovesocks_24/pseuds/Ilovesocks_24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Usually Derek's favorite pizza topping is green peppers. When Stiles delivers Derek's pizza, Derek's favorite topping is sausage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	30 Minutes or Less

Derek’s life could probably use a little bit of a makeover. Not that his life was bad or anything, he actually had a pretty good life. He had a good paying job, he owned his house and he had a beautiful black Camaro that was the envy of everyone in his neighborhood. 

So his life wasn’t bad. 

It was just boring. 

Really. Really. Boring. 

As in he may be on the verge of an early mid-life crisis boring. 

Derek worked as a freelance slash contract handyman in Beacon Hills, California. Beacon Hills was the college town of the local university, Beacon Hills State. Derek had actually gotten both his Bachelor’s and Master’s in Art History from BHState, but somehow he wound up becoming a handyman for contract. 

He really didn’t mind. Since Beacon Hills was a college town, a lot of the college kids who rented houses would throw wild parties and inevitably would put a hole in a wall or fall through a roof. And since Derek was the handyman on contract for most of the houses, he was the one who fixed everything up. 

Derek also did some freelance contract work in the neighboring towns of Beacon Hills. One of the landlords for the college houses had recommended Derek to one of his rich socialite friends, and she had given Derek a whole new range of clientele; a bunch of rich women. Except most of the time, Derek didn’t really have to do any work for them. He was convinced that he was basically a glorified pool boy to them. He didn’t really care. Money was money, and if he got paid to stand around and tell Mrs. Collimore that there was nothing wrong with her ceiling and still get paid $7000, he had no problem with that. 

Still, Derek’s life was pretty mundane. He would wake up, do a couple of jobs around Beacon Hills, drive out to a neighboring town to ‘fix’ something that wasn’t broken, and he would come home, reheat something for dinner, sleep and wake up and do the same thing all over again. 

So he really needed something to make his life more interesting, because if he kept living in this pattern, he was going to have a mid life crisis by the time he was 30. He was 27, so he still had three years to go, but still. 

One Friday night, after a particularly long and exhausting day of meeting with Mrs. Collimore to discuss her non-existent problem with her water heater, Derek came home and didn’t want to cook anything.

Which was odd. 

Making dinner was Derek’s escape. He and his sister Laura used to spend their evenings watching their mother cook dinner, hoping to pick up some tips so that they could learn to make something other than toast, cereal and a sandwich. When it came time for Derek to go to college, his mother had taught him the art of spending most of Sunday cooking his meals for the rest of the week, so that he would be able to reheat them whenever he got hungry and was too busy to make something fresh. 

Ever since his mother had died, Derek spent every Sunday making all of his meals for the week. To him it was the only way he could feel close to his mother without going to visit her grave in the cemetery. Sometimes clients like Mrs. Collimore would call on Sundays to ask if he could come look at their gas stove, because it was an emergency, but Derek always refused. Sundays were Derek’s day with his mom, and Mrs. Collimore and her horny friends could wait until Monday. 

So this particular Friday, Derek didn’t really feel like eating leftovers. Mrs. Collimore had really gotten on his nerves because there really was nothing wrong with her water heater, and Derek wanted something hot, fresh and greasy for dinner. 

He wanted pizza.

The best part about living in a college town was the college food. It was cheap, it was bad for you, and it tasted fucking delicious. It was just what Derek needed too. A lot of the places to get food were unique to Beacon Hills. Sure there were chain restaurants like McDonald’s and Starbucks everywhere, but the beset places to get food were the little hole in the wall restaurants. 

Like Dingo’s Pizza. 

Dingo’s Pizza was the eatery of choice for the students at BHState. Their pizza was the perfect mix of cheesy and greasy, and on any given night Dingo’s Pizza would be packed with drunken college students trying to order a pizza. Dingo’s pizza was so good and so locally famous that Derek had even seen a box in Mrs. Collimore’s kitchen when he had gone to fix her dishwasher, that surprise, wasn’t broken in the first place. 

Derek picked up the phone and dialed the delivery number for Dingo’s.

“’Howdy Mate, you’ve reached Dingo’s Pizza, this is Scott speaking, what can I get for you?”

“I’ll take a large cheese pizza with green peppers.” Derek knew that it was an odd combination, but he really liked green peppers. They were his favorite topping on a pizza.

“Would you like to make it a Dingo Combo and add a large soda and some Dingo Bites?”

Derek growled softly, he hated it when people tried to get him to try things he didn’t want to do. 

“No, if I wanted Dingo Combo, I would’ve asked for one. I want a large cheese pizza with green peppers.”

“Hand tossed or deep dish?” 

Ok that was a legitimate question. There was an unspoken rule in Beacon Hills. If you order a pizza from Dingo’s it has to be deep dish. That was best kind. 

“Deep dish.” 

“Good man,” Scott said through the phone, and Derek could almost hear the smile on his face. “And can I have your name please sir?” 

“Derek Hale.” 

“And your address and credit card number please?” 

Derek reached into his wallet and gave Scott his credit card number and address. 

“Thank you Derek, your pizza will be here at your door in 30 minutes or less or it’s on the house. Thank you for choosing Dingo’s Pizza and have an Aussie Awesome Night.”

Derek hung up the phone without saying goodbye. He had a hunch that Scott was one of those dumbly happy people, and those were the kind of people that really annoyed Derek. He sincerely hoped that Scott wasn’t going to be his pizza deliverer. 

Derek sighed and looked around his house. He was bored and hungry. He needed something to do to pass the time before the pizza came. 

Except there was nothing to do in his house. 

Like literally, Derek had nothing to do. 

Derek sighed again, grabbed a beer out of his fridge and sat down to watch some baseball to pass the time. It was better than nothing, but the back of his head screamed that this was exactly mid-life crisis material. 

Thankfully the doorbell rang before long. Derek walked over to the front door to get his pizza and.. 

Fuck. 

Holy Fuck. 

The delivery boy was cute. Like really cute. Not only was he the ‘I just want to introduce you to my entire family’ cute, he was ‘I want to fuck you over my table’ cute. The boy had a slender build with freckles dotting his face, neck and forearms. Derek wanted to kiss each one of them, God they were intoxicating. The boy’s eyes were a greenish color and he had a mouth that Derek just wanted to take then and there.

Jesus Christ. 

Forget the pizza. 

Derek wanted this kid for dinner. 

“Hi, I have a large cheese pizza with green peppers for Derek Hale,” the boy said. His nametag said ‘Stiles’ and that had to be a nickname. No one in their right mind would name their kid Stiles. 

“That’s me,” Derek said, he was pretty sure he was going to start drooling, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of Stiles or the pizza. 

“Oh good,” Stiles smirked. “I wasn’t sure if you were Derek or if you were Susan Johnson who ordered a meat lovers pizza. Thank God I got it right. 

Derek fought back a grin. Stiles was cute and had a sense of humor? He was getting better by the second. 

“Seriously dude,” Stiles continued. “You order a cheese pizza and all you want on it is green peppers? That’s boring. I thought you were a little old man when I got your order. Really? A big strong man like you and all you want on your pizza is green peppers? Susan Johnson just ordered a meat lovers pizza, and you’re sitting here with a cheese pizza with green peppers. Come on, give me your man card.” 

“Can I just have my pizza?” 

“Sure,” Stiles grinned. “But only because you ordered deep dish. I swear if you had ordered this hand tossed, I might not have given it to you. That’s so pedestrian.” 

“Pedestrian is a big word,” Derek replied, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well lucky for me, I am in college,” Stiles shot back. “Hopefully I know a big word or two. At least I know that you have to put at least some sort of meat on pizza. Some sausage or something.” 

Derek felt his groin twitch. Of course a little sexpot like Stiles would say ‘sausage’. Derek wanted sausage all right. Derek wanted Stiles’ sausage. And not in pizza form. What was this kid doing to him? Derek was literally on the verge of yanking Stiles into his house and fucking him into the mattress. Derek wanted him that bad. 

“I like my pizza the way I like my pizza,” Derek said, not even bothering to hide the grin he was sure was taking up his entire face. 

“I guess some people have to be weird,” Stiles grinned back. “I swear though Derek, next time you better have some sort of meat on your pizza. My personal favorite is sausage, but you look like a pepperoni kind of guy.” 

“I like sausage,” Derek replied. 

Because he did. And he was pretty sure that he would really like Stiles’ sausage. 

“Yeah? Next time put some on your pizza.” Stiles smiled, handing Derek the pizza. “By the way, here’s your receipt and if you enter the contest on the back of it, you’ll be entered in a contest to win a free pizza every week for a year. That way you can get all the green peppers you want.”

“I’ll be sure to do that.”

“Goodnight Derek, enjoy your cheese pizza with green peppers and have an Aussie Awesome night!”

Derek closed the door and sat down in the kitchen to eat his pizza. For some reason it tasted better than usual, but it was probably because he was thinking about how hot Stiles was as he was eating his pizza. He was infatuated with Stiles. He was so cute, and there was a good possibility that he was flirting with Derek. Because no one in their right mind would make fun of a person’s choice of pizza toppings unless they were flirting right?

Derek sincerely hoped that was logic and not the potential mid-life crisis talking. 

But he really hoped/thought that Stiles was flirting with him. 

Derek knew that he was an attractive man. Why else would Mrs. Collimore and her little friends keep calling him back to fix washers and dryers that clearly were not broken. So maybe Stiles was flirting with Derek. That was good, because Derek was definitely flirting with Stiles. 

Derek grabbed another slice of pizza out of the box and picked up his receipt In the other hand. Stiles’ writing was on it, “enjoy!” and a smiley face. On the back of the receipt were the details for the contest, as well as a “How are we doing?” survey, and a link to the website. 

Derek grabbed his laptop and logged onto Dingo’s website and left Stiles a great review. Because Stiles was doing great, and Derek could definitely see himself ordering many more pizzas from Dingo’s if it meant that Stiles would keep showing up to his doorstep. 

Derek finished his slice of pizza and went to his room where he got off multiple times to mental images of Stiles’ and Stiles’ sausage. 

Yeah, Derek would definitely be ordering from Dingo’s soon.


End file.
